How I Decided Who I Will Vote for in the Next Presidential Election
It's not about the party, or the policies, or even the ideology.
I was a kid, maybe eight, when I decided to steal a chocolate Easter Rabbit. It wasn’t a planned heist. You could call it a spur of the moment act.
Every day I rode my bike to school. On the way home, I’d stop at the grocery store and wander the aisles looking at the candy displays. I never bought anything. I was saving my paper route money for a baseball glove.
But those displays, so enticing. I deserved some chocolate as much as the next kid. I grabbed a chocolate Easter bunny wrapped in gold foil, looked around, didn’t see anyone, and stuffed it down my pants. I walked around the store a little. I didn’t want to attract any attention by making a beeline outside. I casually strolled out the door.
Cool. I made it. No one was the wiser.
But I had sisters at home. They deserved some chocolate as well. I grabbed my lunch box that was bungee-strapped to the handle bars, and went back in. I loaded up that lunch box. Filled up the empty spaces with little chocolate eggs. Looked around. Strolled around. And headed back out.
This time, as I exited the store, a man grabbed the back of my neck, with one hand, squeezed tight, and said, “Kid, you’re coming with me.”
He guided me through the store, with his hand still wrapped around my neck, my feet barely touching the ground, trying to keep up, and ushered me into the manager’s office. Busted.
The manager called my parents and made me confess my crime. And after guarantees from Mom that I would be ‘dealt with’, they sent me home. It was a long bike ride back.
Mom didn’t say a word. Sent me to my room. No dinner. Sat on the bed waiting.
He came in the room, looked at me, and asked, “ What type of person do you want to be?” I didn’t have an answer. I hadn’t even thought about it.
Over the next hour he lectured me on the attributes required to be a good person. It’s the longest he ever spoke to me in one sitting. It went something like this…
(Don’t worry. We’re getting to the whole President thing.)
Be responsible
You are responsible for your actions. No one else but you. Not your buddy that talked you into doing something stupid. It’s not bad luck. Or an accident. No one is out to get you. When you’re older there will be more temptations. More people tugging on your sleeve saying, “Hey, let’s smoke this or drink this or skip out on this.” Doesn’t matter if it’s fair or not. Your actions are your responsibility.
Responsibility doesn’t mean perfect. It means acceptance. When you screw up you take responsibility for your actions. You correct them to the best of your ability. You learn. You adjust your behavior. You don’t blame others.
It’s your fault, period. You did it.
You accept. You correct. You forgive yourself and move on.
An historical example: Even before he was inaugurated, Kennedy was briefed on a CIA/Eisenhower plot to overthrow the Cuban government. The plot involved training Cuban exiles and dropping them back into Cuba to overthrow the government and replace it with a democratic one. Kennedy green-lighted the project shortly after taking office. It was a disaster. A complete failure in execution, in world-wide perception, and included the capture of over 1000 US military men. Kennedy publicly took complete responsibility for the failure. He didn’t blame his advisors, or the military, or the CIA. He didn’t blame the Eisenhower administration even though they originated the plan. He took responsibility. This helped to restore some faith and trust in his leadership. It set a precedent for his leadership style moving forward and helped him manage the Cuban Missile Crisis in a thoughtful manner.
Be honest
Telling the truth is important but living the truth is critical. Let your actions reflect your words. If you say one thing and do another, you’re a liar. You’re dishonest. Your thoughts may jump around. It’s okay to have crazy, jumbled thoughts. But words spoken and actions taken tell the story.
It’s easy to fool yourself. Be self-critical. Question yourself. If you’re not willing to stand up and tell your family and friends what you are doing, then you shouldn’t be doing it.
Surround yourself with people that will be honest with you. Your friends should be able to tell you the truth. If you don’t want to hear the truth from your friends, you are being dishonest. Doesn’t mean they are always right but listen.
Today, you were dishonest. You were a liar.
A modern example: Warren Buffett has been writing an annual letter to his shareholders for over 40 years. He makes a point of calling out his mistakes and shortcomings. He constantly praises his group of managers giving them credit for the growth of their portfolio companies. In his 1986 letter to shareholders, he points out deceptive accounting practice used in the industry of a recently acquired company, The Scott Fetzer Company. He could’ve kept quiet and just changed the policy. By pointing out this legal, but misleading practice, Buffett demonstrated his commitment to honesty and his unwillingness to propagate deceptive valuation practices even when such practices were advantageous for Buffett’s investments.
Be compassionate
You need to listen to people. They’re constantly communicating to you, but if you don’t listen to them, to understand them, you’ll never make any meaningful connections, any real friends. If you don’t listen, you can’t truly understand another person. You can’t be thoughtful and make wise decisions.
You can’t tell if someone else is full of crap.
Compassion takes a level of respect. Respect everyone, period. You can’t understand someone if you’re judging them.
An inspiring example: In 1996, after serving 27 years in prison, Nelson Mandela, as president of South Africa created the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. It was one of his first acts after the end of apartheid. The concept was to recognize and forgive acts of racism perpetrated under the previous regime. The committee was granted the power to grant amnesty to those that had committed these crimes as long as they admitted their crimes and took full responsibility for their actions. The program did come under fire with some claiming it put the an emphasis on reconciliation and redemption over the rights of the victims. However, Mandela and Reverend Desmond Tutu remained steadfast in commitment to compassion towards their former oppressors.
Pass the praise to others
Humans don’t do well on their own. We need each other. You will do many great things in your life but you won’t do any of them without help.
Life is unfair and failure is a part of the journey. You will lose more than you win especially if you don’t ask for help, help others, and work to support the community.
This is hard to grasp. You do not have full control over the outcome of any task. Life has a way of interrupting the best laid plans. You do have control over your effort. You do have control over your response to the end result. It is not about you. It’s about your family. It’s about your team. It’s about your community. A good person realizes this. An immature person thinks it always about them.
Find someone to thank for each and every one of your successes. Take all of the blame and responsibility for each and every one of your failures. This will build trust. You’ll trust yourself. Others will trust you.
A world changing example: Dwight D. Eisenhower was the Supreme Commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force. It was a grand title and a powerful position. He lead the team that planned the D-Day invasion during World War II. Prior to the invasion he gave a speech to the troops. In the address he stated, “You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.” Not a single ‘I’ in speech. He didn’t make the speech about himself, constantly deflecting and giving full praise to others. Except when it came to failure. Eisenhower prepared a speech for failure. It went like this, “Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air, and the Navy did all that bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt, it is mine alone.” He didn’t blame it on others. He was prepared to take full responsibility. This is leadership.
(These leadership examples and others can be found in Ryan Holiday’s book, Stillness is the Key).
Be a leader
I’m not asking you to push your way to the front of the room and shout louder than everyone else. That’s not a leader. A leader lives a life according to the principles we’ve talked about and is willing to stand against the crowd if necessary. Do the right thing. It takes courage. Sometimes, it’s hard to know what the right thing is. Honesty and the truth don’t come easily. They take thought. And empathy. Most ‘truths’ are not black and white. Don’t be afraid to change your mind. Accept your new way of thinking. Correct your action to match. Move on.
A leader must be constantly seeking new knowledge. People drive progress, not through looking backwards, but by going into the unknown. It’s scary. Many people get stuck. But just solve the next problem. It’s a step by step process.
You’ve failed yourself. It’s a problem that you need to resolve. Decide. What type of person will you be? A leader must first manage themselves. And maybe that’s all a good leader is, just a honest, compassionate, person that keeps working, learning, and moving forward.
Decide.
The principles I want in our leaders
These are simple concepts. Explained to me by my father with an intensity I’d rarely seen in him. They may seem old but responsibility, honesty, compassion? They don’t go out of style. These are the qualities I’m looking for in our next President.
A President’s duty is to uphold the law. This requires honesty. A leader’s duty is to inspire, guide, and support their team to achieve their goals while maintaining integrity. This requires compassion. It requires putting the team’s needs before their own.
I’m voting for the candidate that best fits these attributes. No need to make it more complicated.
Think About It…
We must settle this question now, whether in a free government the minority have the right to break up the government whenever they choose. If we fail it will go far to prove the incapability of the people to govern themselves. ~ Abraham Lincoln in remarks to his private secretary John Hay in 1861.
I pulled this quote from Erik Larson’s new book; The Demon of Unrest. It’s required reading for all citizens.
Do It…
Watch it: They’ve released enough episodes to call it a winner. It’s a rare case when the movie/tv series is better than the book. This is. Dark Matter. Don’t ask me what it’s about. I’ll just confuse you. It’s the best sci-fi going right now.
Read it: The Demon of Unrest. Already mentioned but can’t recommend enough.
Talk to it: Dostoevsky wasn’t just a great writer, he was also a philosopher. It’s worth plowing through all the myriad of Russian names to get to the crux of his stories. Or you can just talk to his chatbot here. Try it. It’s fun. Kind of like talking to the master himself.
If you want to check out some great reading list and see which books have influenced, surprised, educated, and entertained me, check out my book shop here. The lists grow monthly and I don’t recommend any books I haven’t personally read. There’s also a book recommendation engine. Check it out.