Loneliness is Like a 3 Pack-a-Day Smoking Habit
You can be a rebel but you still need a tribe.
Loneliness is a killer. So says the world’s longest running study on happiness. It’s the equivalent of smoking 15 or more cigarettes a day. We can’t slap a skull-n-cross bones on the side of loneliness but we can make an effort to maintain our social connections and friends.
We can make an effort to stick to family.
Every year my grandfather would make eggnog for Christmas. It was a process. He didn’t measure anything. He barely used utensils. He’d pop out a bowl, throw in egg yolks, and sugar. Like a dozen eggs. A handful of sugar. And just mix it all up. Then, he’d put a container or two of cream in a separate bowl. He’d shake in nutmeg, cinnamon, and salt. He’d heat it. Just till it got those little bubbles.
I was about waist high to my grandpa. I’d be dancing around, carefully watching everything he did. He’d shout or sometimes smack me lightly upside my head. “Jeffrey, get the nutmeg”, he say or ”Jeffrey, get me some Jim Beam.”
And I’d dutifully respond.
He’d mix the two together. And if he hadn’t started hitting the Jim Beam too early, he’d whip up the egg whites and fold them into the nog. There’d be egg and sugar and nutmeg all over the counter.
No Jim beam though. You didn’t spill the Jim Beam.
There was two batches of egg nog every year. One, fully tilted with Jim Beam. One kid friendly. My grandfather would always slip me at least half a glass of the full-tilt eggnog.
This half a glass would always start the problem. It’s wasn’t all hugs and kisses and guzzling eggnog. It was. But it was also tears, and hurt feelings, and someone running into a bedroom and slamming the door shut.
We worked it out. Someone would whisper to the door until it was opened and the party re-joined. Then there’d be laughter.
And a loud, supportive, loving family. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, friends of friends, dogs. All together.
Always family.
