Our House Burned Down - Ha, Ha, Ha!

I'm laughing with you, not at you. Really.

Sep 19, 2024

*Ashes to Ashes*. Jeff x DALLE.3 © author assumes provenance and copyright

Whispers of smoke curled and twisted upwards. The snap of the flame smothered us in heat. It was still too hot to get much closer, but my father backed up the pickup truck, lowered the tailgate, and my parents, sisters, and I plopped down and watched as our house burnt to the ground.

There was nothing to salvage.

Just piles of smoldering debris, memories reduced to ash. A charred picture frame here, the melted remnants of my sister’s ‘64 Mustang there. The furniture my father had crafted with his own hands now lay in ruins, nothing more than blackened lumps of charcoal.

Pictures gone (this was well before digital anything). Clothes gone.

My father was crying. Tears but no sound.

“Well,” my mom said, “I’m sorry, I forgot the marshmallows.”

For a moment, we sat in silence. But then, we exploded in laughter. Nothing to laugh about, really, but once it starts, it’s hard to stop. We couldn’t stop. We just sat and laughed.

The fire trucks rolled up to find us laughing. Nothing for them to do but hose everything down. Which they did while keeping an eye on us.

The wacko family laughing at their tragedy.

But that moment of laughter was the beginning of a healing process.

Laughter does that.

It heals.

Why Laughter Helps

I often replay that strange, surreal moment in my mind. What we had lost felt enormous—years of memories, objects with deep meaning. My baseball glove. Still pissed about that 50 years later. Yet, somehow, that laughter lightened the burden. It took time, but eventually I understood. Laughter has power.

Laughter is strange that way. It sneaks in where you least expect it and changes everything. It heals. Science is just beginning to understand what laughter does for us, but it's undeniable—laughter transforms both the body and the mind.

The brain is a ‘predictive machine.’ It creates an elaborate and detailed simulation of the world based upon its expectations and experiences as much as the raw data from our eyes, and our ears, and our noses. Inject laughter and your brain has new data to process. It will change the simulation.

Laughter is associated with joy. You’ll see the world differently because your world is now different. The simulation created by your brain has changed. It’s a new paradigm. It’s a new reality.

What was overbearing sadness is now lightened. It allows for healing.

Researchers are continuing to study and learn about the benefits of laughter. But we know, it’s an effective method to address many physiological and psychological health issues.

Plus, laughter is cheap. No prescription needed. No side effects.

This is how it helps:

Your Heart Will Thank You
Screw cardio. Laughing gets your heart pumping, just like exercise. A good laugh increases blood flow and boosts circulation, burning calories in the process. Laughing might not replace a 5K, but it does wonders for your cardiovascular health.
Endorphin Rush
Laughing releases endorphins, those magical feel-good chemicals our brains love. They work to alleviate both emotional and physical pain, and the effects linger long after the laughter has faded. It’s like nature’s best anti-depressant, minus the side effects.
Sharper Mind
Ever notice how clear your mind feels after a good laugh? That’s because laughter stimulates both sides of the brain, improving problem-solving abilities and enhancing creativity. Need a study break? Watch a funny video—it’ll help you retain more information.
Deep Breath | Full Heart
Laughter works your diaphragm like nothing else. Belly laughs, especially, strengthen this crucial muscle, which helps the body use oxygen more efficiently. A strong diaphragm can improve your overall health, leaving you feeling more energized.
It Distracts You (In a Good Way)
Laughter provides a much-needed mental vacation. For a few moments, the weight of the world lifts as your brain focuses on the joy of the moment. This kind of distraction can be a powerful tool, especially while watching your house burn down, or going to a funeral, or say, confronted by a bully/troll.
Stronger Bonds
Sharing laughter creates a connection. It’s why we bond with friends over jokes, why we share funny stories to break the ice. Laughter unites us in a way few things can, turning acquaintances into friends and strengthening existing relationships.
Look and Feel Better
Laughing tones your face muscles and improves circulation, giving your skin a healthy glow. It’s like a natural beauty regimen, no 250 dollar, 2 oz. bottle, of blue algae required. You’ll look better, feel better, and project that vibrant energy to the world.

There are lots of ways to laugh. And yes, not every laugh is created equal. It comes in various shapes and sizes. Each form is different data for the brain. Each form has a different impact. Explore the different types of laughter and get more joy into your life.

Types of Laughter

Genuine Laughter
This is the natural, uninhibited laughter that bubbles up in response to something truly funny. It's a full-body experience with nothing held back. Genuine laughter is contagious and often easier to achieve in group settings. It might just be the original social bonding tool, predating even dancing, singing, and communal eating. If apes can do it, so can you.
Polite Laughter
This is the courteous chuckle you offer in social situations. Yep, it’s that fake work-laugh for the boss. It’s more like a disguise than an instrument of hilarity. No sincerity, no benefits. The brain knows.
Induced Laughter
Break out the feather ticklers or indulge in a little playful teasing. Laughter induced by physical stimulation often escalates into genuine, uncontrollable laughter—or perhaps mild annoyance, depending on the person. The brain doesn't distinguish between induced and natural laughter, so you reap the benefits either way.
(You can’t tickle yourself. Your brain is predicting the effects of your movements. It dampens your feeling of touch. This way you aren’t startled every time your hand brushes your leg or your side. It’s expected. No surprise. And it’s why amputees still feel missing limbs. The brain hasn’t processed the new data. It still has to map the present contours of the body. And until the brain has updated, it is working on old data, and will ‘predict’ pain or feeling in the phantom limb.)
Forced Laughter
The "fake it till you make it" approach applies here. Forced laughter involves deliberately making yourself laugh, even if you don't feel like it. Surprisingly, this can trick your brain into releasing endorphins and lifting your mood. Whether through laughter yoga, laugh therapy, laugh exercise, laugh meditation or scheduled laugh sessions, the positive effects remain consistent. And yes, those are all real things.

Learn to Laugh

Let’s not complicate it. If I was still in college, I’d say gather all your friends around, pass around the bong, and slap a copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail in the ‘ole VHS. The laughing will come. But I’m older and supposedly more responsible, so I’ll say, just start with a smile. Smiles lead to laughing.

Movies still work. Watch some comedies. Do you like a good pie fight? Watch The Great Race. Largest pie fight ever filmed. 256 pies to the face in all. Whether it’s Anchorman or Bridesmaids, whether it’s your first time watching, or 100th time, comedies bring laughter.

Hanging out with friends still works. Laughter comes easier with friends or groups. It’s contagious and addictive. Being around people that laugh will help you laugh.

My favorite way to laugh? I laugh at my mistakes. I make a lot. It gives me ample opportunity to laugh. It’s not so serious. Laugh, it creates some separation between you and your mistakes, and then get to fixing ‘em.

Smile. You’re Done for the Day

Just be open to the moment. Doesn’t matter if your house just burned down, you lost a job (congratulations!), or you’re at a comedy club; be prepared to laugh.

My wife laughs all the time. Big, loud, full-body laughs that cause every head in the place to turn and look. They’re startled at first, then curious, then they’re smiling and laughing.

She’s like a laugh pusher.

Think About It…

Neuroscientist Anil Seth says;

We don’t just passively perceive the world, we actively generate it. The world we experience comes as much, if not more, from the inside out as from the outside in.

That’s a powerful brain you got there. We don’t believe what we see; we see what we believe.

Questions?

Do It…

Watch it: working on two shows. Gangs of London. This show comes from the mind of Gareth Evans, the writer and director of the Raid movies. It has the same visual punch, the same visceral fights, and throws in a little Godfather-like political machinations. And High Potential. This one I watch with my wife. Really, it could be about her.

Read it: re-reading Oscar Wild’s, The Picture of Dorian Gray. I like to re-read favorites. Each successive reading is different because I’m different. Next up I’m going Murakami: The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Haven’t read this one yet. My son highly recommends it. Always a little scary.

Listen to it: My favorite Hendrix song. It came from Bob Dylan. Hendrix made it his.

or…

Quote it:

If there is something to be changed in this world then it can only be done with music.

- Jimi Hendrix

You can substitute the word music for Love. Or passion. Or…?

Brain-Slap

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