Role Models vs. Anti-Role Models
Do you perform better with examples to follow or expectations to achieve?
No such thing as a self-made human being.
We all need help from time to time. But more than that, we need teachers and we need inspiration.
When we’re young, this may be a “Monkey See, Monkey Do” thing. We pattern ourselves after all of the external inputs we receive, whether its from our parents, our friends, our frenemies, or even what we see and hear on TV.
We’re little sponges absorbing everything and grasping to understand and interrupt the information we receive and view.
Soon, we choose our own mentors. These role models come in many forms but usually they are people that we admire and can empathize with. We understand their struggles and respect the way they have worked to achieve their goals.
Someone to emulate.
You feel you have overlapping identities. It’s a connection that feels personal and unique to you.
Role models set an example. We model our behavior on their actions and hopefully, our goals align and our role models create value for us.
People respond to expectations from those they respect. If your teacher expects you to do well on the test, studies show, you will perform better.
It’s easy to understand the expectations from role models that you interact with on a daily basis.
But what about expectations from athletes, or artists, or business tycoons that we don’t know?
Create your own expectations. These can be the strongest and most impactful of all. Creating expectations patterned off of a role model’s behavior will help identify the important traits you would like to be guided by in your own life.
In effect, you are creating your personal credo.
Tom Brady expects to be fit year-round.
Toni Morrison expected to write every day. And she did.
Marcus Aurelius expected to deal with troubles and irate people on a daily basis. He expected himself to deal with them calmly and thoughtfully.
Expectations should be built around daily actions and behaviors. Expectations should not be built around results.
You have the right to your work but for the work’s sake only. You have no right to the fruits of your work. Desire for the fruits of your work must never be your motive for working. ~ Bhagavad Gita
Expectations built around the process are beneficial.
Expectations built around results are harmful.
Combing expectations with characters traits we wish to model is much more effective in creating and improving our behaviors.
But combining a Role Model with an Anti-role Model can be even more powerful.
An Anti-role Model is a person that you want to distinguish yourself from. It’s a don’t-do-whatever-the-hell that person is doing model. We see corruption and anger spouting from some of our politicians. Hopefully, this will motivate you to be more thoughtful and to research and educate yourself on current topics. Anti-role Models help us identify what we do not want to become.
Teenagers love to think of themselves as rebels. Rebels love to go against prevailing thought and institutions. This is helpful when it is done to add a new perspective aimed at reaching a new solution. It can be harmful when it is done for the sole purpose of arguing and attacking.
This is not constructive.
Find your balance between Role Models and Anti-role Models. You will be more effective in changing your behavior.
Think About It…
Expectations can be similar to performing in front of a crowd. Studies show an audience improves performance.
High expectations also improve performance.
But only if the performer/athlete/student is prepared and has practiced or studied in a meaningful manner. If prepared, peak performance is achieved, regardless of the complexity of the task.
But if the performer is unprepared performance is much worse with an audience.
Thoughtful and reasoned practice makes perfect.
And a role model can be your audience.
Do It…
No football this weekend. Aww, its a long offseason.
I’ll movie it on Sunday instead. It’s the big new Marvel movie:
And also I’ll be reading some Sara Gran.
The Book of the Most Precious Substance
If you haven’t read her Claire DeWitt series - start there.
Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead
Enjoy your weekend.
Ciao