Stop Chasing Happiness. Chase Fun Instead. Fun, You Can Catch.
Yes, screw happiness. It's hard to grasp and hard to define. Fun is instantly doable.
Everyone in the restaurant is staring at us. No, I didn’t drop a glass, spill my wine, or make some obnoxious comment. And yet, here we are, the center of attention.
But it’s not a horror movie glare. Most people are grinning.
My wife is beautiful but that’s not it. She’s a laugher. And it’s not an indoor laugh. Her whole body is involved. She quakes. She shakes. It’s uninhibited. Her tremors top out the Richter Scale.
She’ll laugh at anything. Knock-knock jokes. Pie in the face. But most often her own jokes.
She’s always looking to bust out a good laugh.
You can’t help but join in. Her laughter is infectious, and suddenly, I’m sitting here, grinning like an idiot, laughing my weak-ass little laugh. And I’m having fun.
I’m happy.
But—here’s the twist—fun came first. Then happy.
Happy vs. Fun: What’s the Deal?
We all want to be happy, but nobody can actually define it. It’s like trying to catch wind in a bottle. The sentiments there. The bottles loaded with air but the impact is gone.
Trying to tell yourself to be happy is like laying in bed at night and saying, “Go to sleep, now.”
It’s complex, different for everyone, yada yada. Some say it’s about relationships, health, or making the world a better place. Others claim happiness is a reward waiting for us in the next life. Great. Super helpful for the here and now, right?
Happiness isn’t something you chase directly. If you’re chasing, its running.
I can’t help you with happiness. Pursuing and achieving happiness requires emotional, spiritual, and moral growth. You’ll have to figure it out for yourself.
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. - Aldous Huxley
But the key to happiness? That I can help with. It’s Fun.
Fun Is Your Secret Weapon
Happiness is this vague, ever-changing goal, but fun is something you can grab right now. Think of fun as a building block. Stack enough of those fun-blocks together and you’ll start being happy without trying.
Kids get it. They play hard, lose track of time, and just live in the moment. That’s fun. It’s active. It’s playful. It’s when time melts away because you’re so wrapped up in whatever it is you’re doing.
Little secret: Work can be fun. But fun is not related to the hustle culture. You may love writing, or creating new products, or pushing numbers around but this is not true fun. It’s enjoyable but fun needs room. It needs a break. And it’s closely related to a “flow state.” Getting lost in the moment.
You don’t have to be a kid to get back to that. You don’t need to roll around in the dirt or somersault across your lawn (unless you want to). But it’s time to inject a little play back into your life.
How to Add More Fun (and Less Boring) to Your Day
Fun doesn’t mean you need to flip your life upside down or abandon responsibilities. It’s about finding those little moments. Here’s how you can sneak some fun into your grown-up life:
Relive Childhood Joys: Did you love coloring books? Get some adult coloring books. No one’s watching. Scribble. Doodle. Draw.
Get Creative: Take a graffiti class. Go wild and splatter paint all over a wall in your house (you can always paint over it). Paint the sidewalk, a flower pot, the mailbox.
Try Improv: Loved acting as a kid? Sign up for an improv class. Or get goofy with your kids or nieces and nephews.
Move Your Body: Remember running and jumping like you were invincible? Try a new exercise class, or grab friends for a tennis match, or pickleball game. You double the fun by doing it with a group. And you’ll try harder as part of a group.
Game On: Host a game night. Or watch Game Night and laugh until your sides hurt. Both count.
No one looks stupid when they’re having fun!
~ Amy Poehler
The Benefits of Fun (Yes, There Are Serious Benefits)
Fun is like a magic pill for both your brain and body. No prescription needed. It improves creativity, reduces stress, boosts sleep, and strengthens social skills. It’s even linked to better relationships. Couples that play together stay together, right? Oh, and spoiler: sex is fun. If you’re doing it right. More sex, more fun, more connection.
Let’s break it down:
Creativity Boost: Play sparks your brain. It increases problem-solving abilities and boosts learning. When you’re creative, life’s challenges get easier.
Stress Buster: Fun releases dopamine (that “feel-good” hormone) and serotonin (the calming one), knocking down stress levels faster than you can say "happy hour."
Better Sleep: Less stress, better rest. Simple math.
Social Perks: Group activities like games or classes give your social skills a workout. And who doesn’t want to be the fun person in the room?
You’ll Be Nicer: People perceive those that seek fun, and approach day-to-day interactions with a positive attitude, broaching on fun, to be more likable.
Relationship Goals: Couples who have fun together build stronger, happier bonds. Whether it’s laughing over dishes or cracking jokes while walking the dog—life’s better when it’s not taken so seriously.
What Fun Isn’t (Hint: It’s Not Tequila Shots at 2 AM)
Chasing pleasure? That’s not fun, at least not in the long run. Sure, happy hour is a blast, but tequila shots until dawn? Not so much. Fun’s a building block for happiness. Mindless indulgence and the all-consuming search for another hit of dopamine often leads to burnout, regret, or worse. The key is sustainable joy, not fleeting highs.
Create Some Fun Today
In the grand scheme of life, fun may seem trivial, but it’s the secret sauce for a happier, healthier existence. Whether it’s in the raucous laugh of your wife or a dance-off with your friends, you’ll be surprised how quickly fun turns into happiness.
Smile. Laugh. Pick the right spouse.
There you go! Let the fun begin!
If you want to check out some great reading list and see which books have influenced, surprised, educated, and entertained me, check out my book shop here. The lists grow monthly and I don’t recommend any books I haven’t personally read. Or use my book recommendation engine and specific author chatbots. Check it out. It’s fun.